Witticisms

Rossi, 1
Michael Rossi
March 28, 2010
Advanced Placement English/ Mr. George

Witticisms

1: Emptying a woman’s mind of all suffering, results in the emptying of a husband’s pockets.
2: I will not stand for women’s suffering, so let us not give them suffrage.
3: A servant is the best kind of friend. A normal friend will support you as you carry life’s burdens, while a servant will carry them for you.
4: I do not participate in sports because I am an excellent critic.
5: You say Dorian fell into moral darkness, but perhaps he never fell. He remained true to himself no matter what personality he wore.
6: Do I blame God for suffering? Of course I do not. I am a tad perturbed, that he refuses to
reveal himself to me, but since he does not exist I cannot blame him. Do you ask a ghost to come out of the closet?
7: Faith (in God) is the chain and lock that binds a life of intellectual growth. Thoughts are the key that shatter God’s shackles.
8: Learning English does not birth new knowledge. It simply teaches one to read what life has already written.
9: My synapses demonstrate their fitness as I turn lap after lap while your synapses exhaust themselves just stretching.
10: My wife looked forward to marriage because she looked forward to continuing her intellectual exploration of me, little did she know I looked forward to marriage under the impression that such development would stop.




Rossi, 2

Works Cited

Wilde, Oscar. The Picture of Dorian Gray. New York: Barnes and Noble, 2003.